The most common question I am ever asked is this: "How do you deal with haters?"
I have a fairly large following on social media. Most of this following seems interested in my well being and keeping up with my endeavors and successes, but a pocket of them wish for the opposite. I get everything from angry wrestling fans who think I don't deserve the opportunities I've been afforded, to people who don't like the color of my skin, or the color of my husband's skin, for that matter. With social media, you just never know what you're going to get and a lot of times, what you get is hate.
Theres no manual on how to deal with hate on social media. For many of us it takes time, and for a lot of us entertainers, it's a learning curve. I definitely don't handle social negativity perfectly all of the time, but here are a few things that I've learned along the way that seem to help me deal...
1) It won't ever go away.
You cant wait it out. Social hate is never ending, so long as you are moving forward. So get used to it. Settle into it and just learn to deal.
2) Shock Value
Haters go for shock value. When my husband suddenly lost his father a couple of years back people said things you wouldn't believe. Things no human should ever say out loud. Things that make me understand exactly why some of the terrible things in this world happen. There are sick people out there and the internet is accessible to all of them. They will say the most shocking things they can dream up just to get an answer. Sad, but true. But...you don't have to always react. That's the hardest thing to me. When people attack innocent friends and family members, those are the times I've lashed out. But it's done no good. People continue to be awful whether you acknowledge them or not. Ghosting them is the best option.
3) Do Not Block!
There are accounts who's entire goal is to get as many celebrities as possible to block them so they can brag about it. Silly, right? I won't give them the satisfaction. I mute them and let them talk to themselves....FOREVER. It drives them crazy that I won't block them. It gives me peace of mind because I can't see their jibber jabber anymore. It just works! 🤷🏽♀️
4) Haters Aren't the Majority
Social is weird. You get a lot of positive comments, but the negative ones stick out like a sore thumb. 100 people can tell me I look great, but if one says I look fat, it's tough to look past. In those cases I try to remember the numbers are greater on the light side than the dark side. Many times I'll comment back to the positive people and skip the negative blatantly. It makes me feel better to focus on the positive and treat the negative like it simply doesn't exist. By the way, thank you SO much to each and every one of you guys that comments frequently here on the blog. I love it. You're all amazing and positive. Even opposing thoughts are positive and respectful. I truly appreciate that and encourage you guys to help me keep this space so cool and open!
4) Keep Doing You
The best revenge is success. Keep climbing that mountain. Keep making moves. Stay happy and positive and celebrate those blessings in life. Sure, it's going to make the bitter hate even more, but that's not your problem. My job as an entertainer is to shoot for the stars and make others happy. In the midst of that I feel fulfilled and happy myself. I can't jeopardize that for a few negative Nancy's, and I won't. Onward and upward we go and the amount of vocal naysayers grow. If they were right...I wouldn't be where I am today and if they didn't exist, that would mean I wasn't doing anything noteworthy and THAT would be a bad thing. I'll take my success with a side of haters please, extra salty 😉
With everything going on with me in 2018, the white noise is going to get louder. But I will remain positive, and so will you! ✌🏽