The Cream Always Rises

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I think I’m a good person. I think most of us think we are good people. We aren’t on drugs, we pay our bills, we treat others with respect and kindness and we focus on having friendly dispositions. These are some things I use to define my “goodness” I don’t know what you use. But we go along in life following these “measurements” and working out hardest. However, we run into these obstacles. Yet, Sally, who works across the way from us. Who’s been working here a shorter time, is late 4 out of 5 days a week, calls in sick when she’s clearly not, and has been written up a time or two...SALLY gets the damned promotion that WE were owed! We earned it, right? We deserve more responsibility, more money, more...RESPECT! 

 

Dont you hate it when people tell you life’s not fair? I can’t stand it. What a crock! How is that an answer? Well, shamefully it is. But you know what else is an answer? The cream always rises.  

 

You know what that means for us good guys? We get to live to fight another day and we don’t have to take no for an answer. Because we are good. Because values count for something. Because not everything is right here right now. Some things are worth more. WE are worth more. So how do we ensure that the cream rises? Well, sometimes we have to get really real, and that does NOT take away from your cream crown.  

 

Sometimes, you have to tell a mother lover OFF. Keep your crown on while you do this.  But the next time Sally gets promoted before you...learn to SAY NO.  “Hey Brandi, Sally can’t do XYZ today can you?”  “No I can’t. That’s not my responsibility though and I’m SURE Sally as the new Sr VP can figure out a way...after all she was the best candidate for the job!” Smile, blink, walk away. Adjust crown. People love to take advantage of us good folk. Learn the difference between appreciation and being taken for granted, and don’t allow it. 

 

Stay creamy. Don’t stoop to someone else’s level. If it’s beneath you to be catty don’t be catty. People will be disappointed when you won’t gossip, when you won’t throw someone else under the bus.  When you won’t lie to make a buck. But trust me, in the long run it will be worth more that you didn’t compromise your values to coincide with someone else’s agenda. Being true to yourself will pay off when you FINALLY align with likeminded people who understand your values and your vision.  

 

Learn to walk away. We live in a society where the amount of time you spend doing one thing is supposed to define you. I worked here for 10 years, I started a school program and I finished it. This is all great if you LOVE it. But if along the way you discover you don’t love it, and more importantly, you don’t love how you’re treated or are being kept from reaching your full potential: here’s the only phrase you need to master: “Thanks for the opportunity but I must move on”. SEE YA BYE!!!! If someone doesn’t recognize your worth, tell ‘em boy bye. (Or girl). Preferably after you’ve devised a plan of what you are going to do next to fill your soul AND pay your bills.  

 

I felt the need to write this after an eye opening evening of a lot of professional BS. Had to remind myself that I’m the cream and I don’t have time for anyone trying to pull me down while I’m getting my rise on. 💪🏾 Anybody feel me? Let me know in those comments y’all. 💛

What do Frugal People Spend Their Money on??

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I pride myself on being relatively good with money. It’s easier for me to save than to spend. When I see something that I like I often find myself asking “will this go on sale in a few weeks and make me angry?!”  Haha. Most of the time I let it ride. Like this bag at Anthropologie that I’m currently stalking. It will go on sale, and it will be mine! 

 

Being a frugal gal doesn’t mean I don’t spend though. Obviously, I have champagne taste, and I’m not interested in the beer budget category if it’s not completely necessary but, I’ve come to learn that frugal people will go the extra mile when it comes to certain things... so I figured I’d share mine to see how I line up with the rest of you frugalistas! 

 

1. Gifts

I NEVER budget shop for gifts, unless I’ve agreed to do a budget with the party I’m exchanging with. I go with my heart on gift giving. Sometimes gifts are expensive and otherwise not at all! If I feel the person will love it, I get it. Simple. 

 

2. Skincare

I think budget skincare is bad juju. I have sensitive skin and I do whatever it takes to keep it happy. As I get older, that seems to be a hell of a lot more haha! All these moisturizers and eye creams and SPF 50 everything...it’s a wonder I don’t drown in skincare! Under this umbrella I’m also going to place Makeup. Quality make up looks better and lasts longer AND...doesn’t break me out. I’ll always pay more for that peace of mind!  

 

3. Housekeeping

I have a husky. Enough said 😂.  But honestly I love a clean house. I wasn’t blessed with domestic ability.  I can style, design and arrange, but when it comes to cleaning I am helpless! I like to entertain so, it’s imperative to have a housekeeper so that people aren’t subject to my dogs hair every time they come over. Or dust everywhere for that matter.  

 

4. Recently - Cars

I used to be so frugal about cars. I always thought they didn’t matter. Until I started driving a lot, and my family became 2 humans and 3 dogs. It’s not possible to tote all of that around and luggage in a Mustang. Sorry.  So when I bought my Mercedes SUV I told them everything I wanted in a car, including the color, and they delivered. I also added the package for free car cleanings because...again with the dog. His hair is a curse. I want my car to always feel brand new! So...it was money well spent. Happy family!  

5. Home

Our home in Dallas is a dream house. We again, decided everything we wanted and set out to find it. Hoping to do the same thing here in GA, our home here is very much temporary as I had about 10 seconds to get here from across the country to film WAGS.  (Seriously, I had two weeks to find, move into and set up a place and PART of those two weeks I was in ENGLAND! 🤦🏽‍♀️) It’s not my style, but it works for filming purposes.  But I of course miss our Dallas home SO much! Fingers crossed we can find another perfect place in ATL!  

Now I flip this over to you guys! What do you spend your money on? What will you pay whatever it takes to make sure it’s right? Leave it in the comments!  

The New Name

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Soooooooo....the blog got an overhaul!!!! Yaaaaaas!! I felt that the previous design made it a bit difficult for folks to find the most recent posts. Too much jumbo jumbo in the way. This puts my latest posts at the top so now, no more searching! You can't miss it.

 

And...with the mighty overhaul came the new blog name: Not Another Basic B. It's not rocket science.  There are a lot of blogs out there. This one isn't basic. 🤷🏽‍♀️ And this "B" is truly thankful for every single person who reads it and shops my feed. We've grown a lot over the past couple of years and I thought my readers deserved a little more fun with this blog, so that's all this is about! And the outfits above? Totally randomly attached to this blog so you could easily follow the picture over from my social pages 😂  Please tell me it worked. (You can totally shop the look too, worry not).   

 

So....what do you guys and gals think of the new name? Basic? Not Basic? Everything you ever hoped it could be? Leave it in the comments 😉 

I'll take success, with haters on the side please.

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The most common question I am ever asked is this: "How do you deal with haters?"   

I have a fairly large following on social media. Most of this following seems interested in my well being and keeping up with my endeavors and successes, but a pocket of them wish for the opposite. I get everything from angry wrestling fans who think I don't deserve the opportunities I've been afforded, to people who don't like the color of my skin, or the color of my husband's skin, for that matter. With social media, you just never know what you're going to get and a lot of times, what you get is hate.

Theres no manual on how to deal with hate on social media. For many of us it takes time, and for a lot of us entertainers, it's a learning curve. I definitely don't handle social negativity perfectly all of the time, but here are a few things that I've learned along the way that seem to help me deal...

1)  It won't ever go away. 

You cant wait it out. Social hate is never ending, so long as you are moving forward. So get used to it. Settle into it and just learn to deal.  

2) Shock Value

Haters go for shock value. When my husband suddenly lost his father a couple of years back people said things you wouldn't believe. Things no human should ever say out loud. Things that make me understand exactly why some of the terrible things in this world happen. There are sick people out there and the internet is accessible to all of them. They will say the most shocking things they can dream up just to get an answer. Sad, but true. But...you don't have to always react. That's the hardest thing to me. When people attack innocent friends and family members, those are the times I've lashed out. But it's done no good. People continue to be awful whether you acknowledge them or not. Ghosting them is the best option. 

3) Do Not Block!

There are accounts who's entire goal is to get as many celebrities as possible to block them so they can brag about it. Silly, right? I won't give them the satisfaction. I mute them and let them talk to themselves....FOREVER.  It drives them crazy that I won't block them. It gives me peace of mind because I can't see their jibber jabber anymore. It just works! 🤷🏽‍♀️ 

4) Haters Aren't the Majority

Social is weird. You get a lot of positive comments, but the negative ones stick out like a sore thumb. 100 people can tell me I look great, but if one says I look fat, it's tough to look past. In those cases I try to remember the numbers are greater on the light side than the dark side. Many times I'll comment back to the positive people and skip the negative blatantly. It makes me feel better to focus on the positive and treat the negative like it simply doesn't exist.  By the way, thank you SO much to each and every one of you guys that comments frequently here on the blog. I love it. You're all amazing and positive. Even opposing thoughts are positive and respectful. I truly appreciate that and encourage you guys to help me keep this space so cool and open!  

4) Keep Doing You

The best revenge is success. Keep climbing that mountain. Keep making moves. Stay happy and positive and celebrate those blessings in life. Sure, it's going to make the bitter hate even more, but that's not your problem. My job as an entertainer is to shoot for the stars and make others happy. In the midst of that I feel fulfilled and happy myself. I can't jeopardize that for a few negative Nancy's, and I won't. Onward and upward we go and the amount of vocal naysayers grow. If they were right...I wouldn't be where I am today  and if they didn't exist, that would mean I wasn't doing anything noteworthy and THAT would be a bad thing. I'll take my success with a side of haters please, extra salty 😉

With everything going on with me in 2018, the white noise is going to get louder. But I will remain positive, and so will you! ✌🏽 

Not Black Enough

Disclaimer: get ready for this to get deep. I'm tired of being soft spoken because I'm a celebrity. I am who I am and I don't apologize often. So come on in and sit comfortably, because some of this will make you feel some type of way, indeed.

 

In the midst of a time of absolute crisis in our country I am thinking a lot about senseless hatred and how it becomes something so profound that it leads to the loss of life. Sounds insane, but it's becoming common place. We are becoming a culture dedicated to finding differences in others and making them pay for being different. There's hatred in sexuality, no matter what it is.  Hatred in race still exists in such a major way. Sexism is still a thing, look at any workplace where men and women co-exist. But the hatred itself, that's what's scary. 

 

I've been being hated for "not being black enough" since I was about 4 years old. Yes...I said NOT BEING BLACK ENOUGH. That's a thing in some areas of black culture. I was born with hazel green eyes. Not my fault...but it's seen as different and it attracts attention, and along with attention sometimes comes hate. The neighborhood I was born in was rough. When my parents first bought that house it was considered "up and coming". By the time I was born however, it had taken a turn for the worst. The public school was unacceptable, not to mention the fact that I couldn't play outside past a certain time. Gunshots were commonly heard at night. Hell, someone robbed us by breaking into MY bedroom window and stealing a child's piggy bank. Picture painted, it was rough.

 

My parents spent every last dime to send me and my older brother to a private school in a predominantly white neighborhood nearby. They wanted me to have a better education and safer learning environment than our  neighborhood offered. They didn't think about things like me and my brother being the only black kids in the entire school. The administrators of that school certainly didn't care that black children were joining the program. They were just good people helping kids learn. So they did what they thought was right. Little did they know, their efforts in educating their kids and exposing them to other cultures would result in them being targeted down the road.

 

I remember as early as 4, being teased for "talking proper". I didn't try to speak differently, I was being taught this at a young age. I decided I liked knowing the proper ways to speak, using new and intriguing words, and that doing those things in most environments was met with reward. Adults would comment on how smart and mature I was.  But in a few environments, it was looked down upon. I was accused of thinking I was better than others for saying yes, please and no, thank you. 

 

Now, one thing you'll never hear of, is someone being "too black". Quite frankly, I don't know how you would define something like that. What the hell are "levels of blackness"? There's no such thing as being "too black" in my ethnic community, so why is there "not black enough?" It's just silly. People are who they are. Certain uses of speech or articles of clothing shouldn't make you more or less black. The company you keep, the God you worship, the job you have shouldn't make you less black. My mother sometimes wears African wraps...because she likes the way they look and enjoys the nod to her heritage. Not because she wants to be more black. Is it just me or is all of this sounding crazier by the second? 

 

When I got into high school, I met more people like me (thank goodness) who were raised similarly, who understood what it was like to be treated differently because of how you spoke, or some of the company that you kept, or the hobbies you enjoyed. For instance, I was a figure skater. Not many black people skated, so it was instantly dubbed a "white sport". I was damn good at it and loved it, so I couldn't care less what people called it, I was going to do it and do it well and so that's what I did for 17 years. I knew a kid in high school who played soccer and golf, and was constantly teased over it and accused of wanting to be white. Why knock a guy for loving sports? Who was he hurting by kicking a ball around and swinging a club? You think that means he thinks he's better than you? You better pay closer attention.

 

I surrounded myself with a multicultural group back then, kind of like a "screw you" to people who didn't think we should be a melting pot. My best friends were Korean, Indian, Puerto Rican and white. I was the black one. And I felt empowered whenever I walked down the halls with any of those women. Race never mattered to us, but it sure got some people's underwear twisted up.

 

So here's where it gets really bad.  It's bad enough when you're black and people of your own heritage don't want to support and empower you in your differences, but it's even worse when people of OTHER cultures you've befriended start mocking you for who you are. This is a hot button topic for me. In a joking setting there's always one white person who will say "oh you know Brandi isn't black she's white like us".  

 

I'm sorry, am I like you? Because I figure skate? Cause you don't figure skate. Because I'm higher educated? Because the school you went to isn't rated nearly as highly as mine. Because I wear certain brands of clothing? Baby, maybe you're LIKE ME. My ideas are original. My style is unique and I don't have anyone else in mind when it comes to feeling like me. So maybe it's you who's trying to be somebody. I already know who I am...a damn unicorn. Uniquely awesome. Soul search yourself before you come at me for being me. And if you ever do say that to me? Escort your stupid ass out of my life permanently, trust me, you don't want me to show you the door.

 

NEWSFLASH: if you still feel skeptical about me and my roots, two things. 1) You're an idiot and don't deserve this but...2) I LOVE being black. I wouldn't want to be anything else. I love every gift God has given me. My heritage is a large portion of my make up and I couldn't be more proud of that. I also love that my husband and his family are white. I love watching our families blend together and love each other. It's the best thing to see. Awkward at times? Sure. But I would never trade it.  

 

My own personal experiences with hatred don't compare to the horrors that are taking place in this country right now. I just wanted to speak up and put focus on how easily hatred starts and grows. I wanted to say the words NOT BLACK ENOUGH outloud.  If this is something you find hate in your heart stemming from, say it to someone you respect. Tell them "I hate people who arent black enough" and if they don't respond by saying "uh...what?!" There's something wrong with them. Move on from them. Hatred stems from simply being different than a group. Having different religious, political, sexual, educational, leisure time views than someone else can lead us to where we are today. Judgement leads to hate, hate leads to horrific events. Just stop it. Stop hating people you don't know for no reason. It will consume your heart and once it has your heart it has your life. You only get one of those. Don't waste it by consuming yourself so heavily with hate for someone who's just different than you. 

Fashionably Late

Last week was my worst nightmare. I was on my way to a media interview and the garage wouldn't open. My car was inside. I tried it a million times. No budge. I've never had to manually open a garage before so luckily I was able to figure it out within 10 min. Still on time (I always leave early anyway). So I was going to be RIGHT on time.

 

But then I got in the car and the address I had been given didn't show up on my gps! 😏 So...I guessed. In Atlanta, this is a mistake. Because there are a million streets called "Peachtree someting or another". I picked the wrong Peachtree and went to Buckhead, when I should have gone downtown. I was able to sort this, but by the time I parked and went through security to get to the suite I was going to I was 20 MINUTES LATE!!! 

20 MINUTES LATE!!!! 

Where I grew up,  this sort of thing is unacceptable but when I arrived to my meeting they were as nice and chipper as ever! They didn't mind at all that I was super late, they were just happy to see me! Mind you, I was going to the cities number one fashion publication, I was mortified by my gratuitous tardiness 😬   

 

Maybe I was just "fashionably late"? I don't usually subscribe to this theory. If you're not 5 min early in my experience, you're late, but in big cities like Atlanta, LA and Miami...people seem much less phased. Maybe it's just the culture. Maybe it's a grace period and understanding of the traffic that plagues these busy cities? Maybe it's the fashion industry. Maybe it's just principal? Honestly guys, I don't know the answer. People are just always late in big cities.  

 

However, despite my recent findings, I'll continue to stick to my gut and plan to be early out of respect for others and respect for my upbringing. 5 min early is always on time for me...what about you guys? Are you fashionably late, right on time or always early?

 

I decided to use this set of photos because of the movement of this beautiful Show Me Your Mumu maxi. It looks like I'm on a mad dash in many of these photos and felt appropriate 😂 You can shop it on my IG via LIKEtoKNOW.it! Hope everyone's weeks are off to a good (timely) start!  

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Photos by Kelly Lane Photography  

Peace

Clearly our country is on the fritz. Yelling at one another via social media channels doesn't seem to be getting us anywhere. Hmmm.  What to do? Who knows. In my case I chose to wear the message that I was hoping to convey in a destroyed tank top by one of my favorite t-shirt brands. It's more than a shirt. It's an affirmation of faith that these times will pass. That people will stop yelling at and criticizing one another for whatever reasons. And that we will find ourselves in a state of peaceful harmony at some point. It's just a shirt with one word on it, but the message is worth a thousand words. If you like this shirt and it's message, buy it today. Don't buy it when you get paid, throw it on the credit card and buy it today. It's not very expensive and it's an easy way to work towards a goal and not argue. Here's how you buy this shirt easily. Download this app called LIKEtoKNOW.it. Go to my Instagram page and take a screen shot of the pic in which I'm wearing this shirt. Go back to your app. The picture will be in there now, click on the pic and shopping links will be right there for you. I've linked a few different places where you can find the shirt. Let's get to work guys! I want to see posts of you guys wearing it too and spreading this message. Make sure to tag me in those posts! 

 

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The Dots

We talk a lot about current fashion trends but we don't talk much about my in-ring fashion and what it all means. When I first started wrestling my name was "Eden". I'm traditionally an over prepared person, so before I had my first match I had plenty of gear made and ready to go in the case I got called to wrestle on the fly. Back then, Dusty was one of the head trainers at FCW in Tampa. The creative direction for "Eden" was significantly similar to the story of Eve in the Garden of Eden. A temptress who listened to the serpent, eating and sharing the forbidden fruits with Adam, bringing paradise to an end. I'm a huge fan of the Biblical story, and I wanted snakes on my gear to represent that.  And that's the story! I continue to wear the gear because it was a cool idea, it's beautifully made, and it feels like me. No slight to any other companies I've worked for in past, just creativity that is part of the path to me continuing on this path in wrestling. Sorry, there isn't "juicy dirt". You can find plenty of that elsewhere! 

 

Now recently, I decided to mix my snakes with Dusty Rhodes' signature black and yellow polka dots. I was worried about doing this. Others have done tributes to my father in law and as well intended as they may have seemed, it's never really been well received, except when Stardust did at Wrestlemania. However, it was on my heart to do this for some time, and bearing the Rhodes name I figured I would take my chance and hope that it meant something. I knew it meant a lot to my husband and myself, that was going to have to be enough. 

 

I have never ever recieved so much positive energy towards anything I've ever worn in my entire life. Fashion is a passion of mine, for sure.  But the dots make people feel good. They make people remember. They start conversations and encourage fans to tell me their favorite Dusty stories and moments. It's really surreal and it helps people come together and enjoy themselves that much more. That said, don't worry, the dots aren't going away. I will definitely bring them back from time to time to help people feel good and to remember. Also, I feel like I should state this because, well hell, somebody's got to. Just because I'm black, doesn't make me in polka dots a Sapphire reference.  She was amazing and I enjoyed her and Dusty immensely. But Cody and I are never trying to be this. Cody is Dusty's son and I never had the pleasure of meeting sweet Sapphire. I would consider it disrespectful to her family to try and "represent" her.  That's their right and their lineage, certainly not mine. 

 

Side note, last night I had the pleasure of meeting Tully Blanchard for the first time. I was wearing my dots and I got the chance to tell him how awesome the roll of quarters match was with him and Dusty, as I had literally watched it just the night before. That had little to do with fashion, it was just a very cool moment.  

 

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Champion For All

My church has been talking about heroes for the past few weeks. What heroes often look like.  Underdogs. Superheroes etc. But today I'm going to talk about the sports hero. The common man, for those who understand.  

Last night I watched in the upper balcony as my husband realized his childhood dream and beat the odds by becoming a World Heavyweight Champion. Something that's been 11 years in the making, it's been a very hard road to get there. He's heard every excuse in the book as to why he wasn't "Champion material" from his build, to the astounding measure of his father's shadow. He persevered and he succeeded and I'm happy as a clam for him. So happy that I fell down a set of stairs racing to get to him last night. My ankle...well, let's not talk about it. He's the one with stitches in his lip. I'll stay on track. 

Champions and heroes go hand in hand to me. The champion sets the tone for whatever sport he is successful in. In wrestling, new champions set the tone for the locker room. Whenever a title changes in this business, the peers gather to offer their respect and hear the Champion speak to them for the first time. I've been in wrestling for 5 years now. I have heard many speeches from champions in this time period. My husband's surprised me and inspired me to write this, here's how. When he got to the end of the speech he said "I've sat through many promo classes which taught me that you have to finish (these speeches) strong. But I want to finish by saying that tonight is my wife's birthday. She chose to be here, ROH brought her here and I'm thankful. So I want everyone to join me in singing her "happy birthday".  Everyone did.  

It's not about the song. It's about the champion. Someone who in his long awaited moment of glory, with the lights down and no cameras in sight, just decided to uplift his wife. How uncharacteristic. How uncharacteristic these days for a man to make his win about his wife. But shouldn't that be a characteristic we accept...and celebrate? 

It has become too common place that our heroes, our children's heroes have these dark sides. They have families but don't behave as family men. They allow power to supersede the example. They fall short everywhere except in the sport at which they excel and we accept that. Our sons accept that. Our daughters accept that. My husband gives us reason not to accept that, but to expect and demand more. He is not a perfect man, but he's a man that chooses to share in his successes, not keep them all for himself. He's a man that respects women, from his wife to his mother, to his peers, coworkers and fans. He's a man who puts his morals and marriage first. A man who doesn't allow circumstances to change who he is at the core. My husband knows that setting a good example is hard, but he still wholeheartedly tries because he is a good person. He's a man who shed tears last night winning his first championship, just like one of the greatest heroes of all time, Jesus. That man openly wept, a thing we tell our sons it's not okay to do anymore, stripping them of their own emotions. And we wonder why men become too hardened and cold against us women, well maybe we should pay attention as well.

That is a champion. That is a hero. That is what I want my son or daughter to look to. Not a philanderer. Not a womanizer. Not an alcohol or substance abuser and certainly not a megalomaniac or sociopath. A man who works hard and loves hard. Like the man who raised me up in my childhood home. It's also great to see my husband standing alongside of moral men, I'll single out the Young Bucks here because they are Bullet Club (4444 life) but there are so many great moral worthy men in wrestling and sports in general. In entertainment...the Colin Donnells. The Stephen Amells.  Super heroes and real life heroes.  These men are exemplary. Hard workers. Trail Blazers. Husbands. Fathers. Role models. Celebrate them! 

Thank you to everyone who has encouraged my husband along the way to be such a great human being and a hard worker. Isn't it great to have moments in this world where good things happen and we lift each other up and enjoy the moments? I sure think so. This is a great time for our little family unit. We are greatful and so happy. Expect a lot from heroes and champions. Make them accountable for the positions that they hold. God bless the American Nightmare, by way of the American Dream.  

 

 

She looks right out of her eyes

So the title of this blog is courtesy of my friend Kaylin Jurrjens mother. One day we were hanging together, we took a selfie and she sent it to her mom (who I've never met). Her mom said "Brandi looks right out of her eyes". Which I had NEVER heard before in my life. But I instantly wanted to know what that meant. Most of the time people comment on the appearance of my eyes. Their unique color.  Or they ask if I wear contacts (which I HATE! Is it that unbelievable that someone got something of beauty from God these days???). But this comment seemed to speak of my soul by way of my eyes, so I loved it.  

When someone says someone "looks right out of their eyes" it means they feel a good presence from them. It think it's cool that a picture can say so much, and you know moms, they are rarely wrong about these sort of things :)

In general, she's right. I tend to be the calming presence for many during their life storms. It's something I take pride in. I tend to be less of a stormy person myself. But now I'm in a bit of a stormy season myself. You know those times in life where it seems nothing will go right? Those times where you have an ugly breakout and you feel SO self conscious about it but you go hang out with family anway and yep, leave it to your mother in law to make some kind of public spectacle of it! Those times when you're on the cusp of something great but people who harbor bitterness for some reason or another keep setting out to make your achievements difficult? These are the times I'll admit, I have trouble getting out of bed. 

So, how do you get out of bed on a flurry of rainy days? Here's some tips I'm using right now to make sure I make life happen, even on the cloudiest of days.  

1.) Focus on what's going well and why it's going well. Right now I'm working on EXACTLY what I wanted to be. And I landed this gig less than a year after leaving my old "good" gig and ITS SOOOO MUCH BETTER!!!! That's a heck of an accomplishment right? That's something worth leaping out of bed for every morning and yelling HALLELUJAH! I'm sure there's a motivator in your life right now. Let that force drive you onward and upward! 

2) Let love win. My husband tells me how much he loves me every single morning without fail. It's so great to be loved especially when you need a little extra. Accept that love.  Be it from your family, your friends, your pets, God. Allow yourself to feel it and be showered in it.  

3) Relax. Take time to relax if you need it. I need it every week. Whether it's a light work out, or a trip to the day spa, some retail therapy or going to see a great flick. Whatever relaxation means to you...find it and do it. Often times we feel ourselves pulled in 100 different directions. Sometimes you have to just take time out for #1 (that'd be you my friend). Carve out that time every week and don't allow any noise in. You'll find you are much more fun for others to be around when you've taken care of yourself a little bit.  

What are some things that motivate you on rougher days? I want to hear them!! Drop a comment below! (Oh and the first pic is the picture we sent Kaylin's mom :)  

 

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Why Women?!

Women. Mysterious creatures we are. We work hard and fight for equality and claim to be a tightly bonded group, however, every time I turn around I seem to witness women stabbing each other in the back for one reason or another. It makes me go "hmmmm". And it also heavily annoys me. But why is this a thing? Why as women do we break our own good vibes as a group to cut each other down and sling mud around? Why do we campaign for equality but not treat our sisters as equals? Why do we want "all women" to succeed, except for Tabitha and Becky...because they don't deserve it. What? Who?! Come on! Why??? I don't know the answer, but let's explore and discuss.  

So...story time. Did you guys know that it used to be customary in wrestling for veteran female talent to "haze" incoming newbies? And not in a "join the sorority" kind of way, in a "we hate you and hope you die" kind of way. When I first got to WWE I got called up to the main roster in about 3 weeks time. That's REALLY fast. I was warned by the male talent to beware of "girl 1, girl 2, girl 3, girl 4 and girl 5" - aren't I sweet, changing names to protect the guilty? 😉 Turns out the guys were right though. The second I hit the scene those girls hated my guts. They "told talent relations on me" for various reasons. They threw my gear bag in the hall just to be mean and they talked so much crap behind my back they could have fertilized a football field. Why? Probably to try and get me to leave because my quick move up meant I was a threat, and no one wanted to give up their spot. Or because a new girl always turns the heads of the male locker room. Luckily I turned my husbands head and didn't have to deal with much mess after that. But to this day I look back and laugh about how mean and petty some women were instead of just being nice.

They say it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, right? Maybe that's why I haven't had to get any Botox yet 😂 I've made it a point to always be welcoming of new people. I'm not the longest running vet but I have been around awhile. People like Nattie were big enough to be very nice to me when I came in. That's why we are still friends to this day. I try to be that kind of woman. Good attracts good. So why not spread goodness? Happy people work well together. Working well means good and safe matches. Sounds easy! 

Of course, this doesn't just apply to the wrestling world. Little girls have been mean to other little girls since grade school. That's where it starts.  

Side bar, another story time: one of my earliest memories is me at my very first ice skating show, age 4. Sitting pretty in my little dance outfit, excited to perform....maybe I should mention I was the only dark skinned baby in the bunch. Cut to, a little girl walks up to me and says "my mommy said I'm prettier than you because I'm white and you're black". Yeah. That wasn't a drill. Nor was it a movie. Kids are mean. And where did she get that from? Her racist ass mom. Not sisterly.

Back on track...  so in grade school, kids are saying things like that. In high school, girls are making fun of other girls outfits and gossiping about them to people who are "more popular." In college...I dunno I didn't pay attention to anyone in college I just wanted to GRADUATE. But I'm sure it happened there too in sororities or something. OH WAIT NO! I have a college story! A girl got mad at me because my boyfriends brother didn't like her. Long story short, she was jealous. She threw a beer at me. We got in a fight...and I kicked her ass. Of course I did, I'm Brandi. I don't start fights, but I can finish them. 

The work place.  I've had women complain about my boobs being too big in the newsroom. Ha, that's real. But when does it end? Are we going to be in the nursing home carrying on like this? If so, sign me up and give me access to unlimited popcorn...KIDDING. But seriously, why do we do this? Don't we have it hard enough with men constantly comparing us and treating us as if we are incompetent...do we have to prove them right? By constantly not getting along and backstabbing and talking crap about each other to MEN?!  

Why? Shouldn't we be building each other up? Supporting each other's endeavors? Providing listening ears and leaning on one another? Cause that's what sisterhood is. Not this other stuff.  

Start with yourself. Support your friends, try to understand your enemies. A little bit goes a long way. And at the least, don't indulge in the gossip column. It just makes everyone look bad at the end of the day. What do you gals think? Any stories to share? Would love to hear. And would love to hear ways in which you personally are working towards being a better sister.

Me? I'm trying not to hold grudges...at least not for as long 😊 Holding grudges holds you back. (I'm just gonna keep telling myself that...I am starting to believe it! Starting to let go of some things to make room for the many blessings that are coming my way). So...who's with me?