Some days, I am super optimistic. A ray of sunlight on a cloudy sky. Other days, much like today, I'm a caged animal waiting for the wrong unassuming person to come along and stick their hand in the cage so I can try to take one of their fingers. I think we all have good and bad days. Highs and lows. I have some tips on how to get the blues under control, before the blues gets to you. I have a bad temper. I didn't always. Years of people taking advantage of my responsibility and good nature is exactly what got me here. I refuse to change being a decent member of society because of others. So I'm always going to have moments where I feel slighted, taken advantage of or just plain unappreciated. It doesn't always have to come to blows. After many of experiences breaking phones, cursing people when I shouldn't have gone that far, peeling off my car and leaving tire tracks on pavement and yep...punching holes in the wall (little ol' me, I can punch and kick through drywall like nobody's business), I've started learning to deal with my frustrations in more cathartic ways. By no means have I perfected this. In fact, just last week I got angry playing Clash of Clans and threw my iPad across the room. But I'm noticing I can talk myself down before things escalate to that point if I give it some effort.
I love books. I love books that talk about positive things. I always have one in my purse. When I feel my temper flaring up and over the roof, if I can stop and focus on encouraging words it really helps the HULK SMASH! in me quiet back down to Bruce Banner. Try it. It's really wild how quickly my neck goes from red and veiny to brown and youthful looking again. I am currently enjoying "The Seven Laws of Love", by Dave Willis. Excellent read that will help you come around when you're contemplating punching someone in the face. Another great book is "You are a Badass," by Jen Sincero. Sometimes a simple reminder that you are awesome is enough to make you want to be even better. And you can't do that if you kick that smart mouthed lady right in the ass, right? I mean it'd feel great, but the complications that would derive from it...not worth it.
One of my secrets in life is that one of my motivations for working out is to CALM THE FLIPPITY FLAP DOWN! Seriously! There's nothing more satisfying to me than completing a heavy duty work out and saying "Take that jerk offs of the world!" (In my head, don't say that out loud. You'll look nuts). Getting a good sweat in is not only good for the body, but good for the mind. I like lifting weights. Sculpting my body into this...thing. Haha. But maybe you like Yoga, or long distance running, or biking. Whatever it is if it works your body hard and it makes you break a sweat it's going to be cathartic in some form. Try sweating it out.
Give yourself a break. When you are feeling super worked up, take the tension down a notch. A great hour long massage can help melt stress away, and get rid of those knots in your neck that are totes making you cranky. If that's too much to fit into your routine, turn the lights out in your bathroom, light a few candles, draw a bubble bath (the bubbles are a must) but on some music you like via Pandora or whatever you use, and sink to your chin with a glass of your favorite wine. Starting to relax you already? Good. Now go actually do it!
4. Treat Yourself
You work hard. You play hard. If your efforts aren't being recognized by the folks that you wish would recognize them, guess who you already have made proud? YOU! So reward yourself at the end of a long day which seemed like a war zone, that you somehow made it out of alive?! Hey...Congratulations!!! Treat yourself! Go out for that fancy dinner at your favorite restaurant and GET THE DESSERT DAMN IT! Go on over to Neiman Marcus and go window shopping. And if that new bottle of perfume that you don't need is calling your name? Buy it. You are worth it. I'm not saying do this everyday...don't write me telling me you had a bad day and you treated yourself to a new Lamborghini and now you're broke. That's just not smart. You know your budget. You know what you can afford and you know what a little splurge means to you! It's different for everyone. Keep it in your boundaries. It's healthy to love yourself in this way. Trust me, it'll make you feel better and help that temper melt away. Retail therapy for the win!
Now that I've finished writing this blog, I'm in a much better way than I was hours before. Hopefully I've helped some other hot heads out there think of ways to cool it before they blow their tops! Helping others is cathartic too. Putting others down just sucks. No one who does that ever gets ahead. So be a lover, not a hater. Be a helper, not a fighter!
Lots of Love and Support Vibes,